From silence to support: families addressing care needs together

When families get together, there are things we notice about our ageing loved ones but we’re reluctant to say anything. We notice that Dad might be starting to forget things or Mum is having difficulty getting out of her chair and seems a bit uneasy on her feet. Any attempt to say something is usually met either in silence or the words “I’m okay, just getting older” are uttered. For many families that’s where things are left.

Then there’s a crisis

Families are then drawn together when there’s been a crisis such as a fall or a hospital admission. Then discussions and decisions are usually being made under high stress and emotion in hospital hallways. This is not an optimal starting point.

Making decisions and understanding the trade-off

Like other life decisions, when it comes to ageing decisions, some are relatively simple to make with minimal consequences, whilst others can be very difficult. When making decisions, there are usually “trade-offs” to be considered and sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re seeing the complete picture. For instance, many people later regret that they didn’t have the difficult conversation with their loved ones about their health and getting the right support.

What needs to be considered

When it comes to ageing and getting help, there are many options to consider, and everyone is different. For instance, when getting some help in the home, exactly what help is needed now and into the future, who will provide the help, and at what cost? If staying at home is no longer possible, choosing an aged care home, figuring out what to do with the former home, and how to pay for this are all decisions that need to be made.

So how do families identify these options and make appropriate decisions? Where do you start? What questions do you ask and who to? How do you know if the answers are in your best interest or someone else’s? What needs to be done and when? What happens if there’s a problem?

Scenario

A family recently approached our Lifestyle and Care team seeking support for their 92-year-old mother, who is living with dementia. She lives alone in a large house that requires extensive maintenance. It’s no longer possible to keep up with the costs of maintaining the property, so the decision had been made to sell. However, the difficult part was deciding where to live.

In the first meeting, her daughter and sons shared their concerns and options for their mother to keep as much independence as possible. The second meeting included their mother, who, despite her dementia, was clear and articulate. Our adviser explained how her Centrelink age pension would reduce under different scenarios and provided an overview of her financial and ageing situation.

Option 1

Their mother’s preferred outcome was moving into a unit. Financially, she would have money left over but would still receive some Centrelink pension and have potential property growth. Although the maintenance costs would be much lower, there would be body corporate costs. After a thorough discussion about the financial aspects, the adviser opened the conversation beyond money. While this option provided the most independence, it was important to consider the practicalities of aging, including what would happen in the event of a fall. This prompted the sons to express their concerns about her living alone, especially since they worked far away. She was receptive and willing to consider other options.

Option 2

The mother quickly rejected the retirement village her children found for her and was happy to use projected assets and expenses to support her decision.

Option 3

The family also considered having the mother move in with her daughter. However, if she sold her house, she would have too much money to receive any pension. However, the money could be invested to provide regular income. Losing the pension would also mean having to apply for a Commonwealth Seniors Health Card (CSHC) for cheaper healthcare.

However, if the mother wanted to consider formally establishing a life tenancy, a Granny Flat Agreement (GFA) could allow her to give part of the money to her daughter, reducing her assessable assets while still maintaining a part pension. The adviser discussed ensuring fairness for everyone involved and the potential downsides, especially if the agreement ended within five years due to existing health issues, as the GFA could be considered a gift and assessed for the rest of the five years. This option allowed the mother to maintain some form of independence while providing the children with peace of mind knowing that help would be available in case of a health episode/emergency.

What was the outcome for the family?

Weighing the financial and aging factors, the family liked the Granny Flat Agreement because it would mean the mother keeps part of her pension and still has most of the money from the house sale that she can use for her future needs. She was surprised to hear how worried her sons were about her living on her own and how much happier they were knowing she’d be living with their sister. Their sister will keep the granny flat money in an offset account, which gives everyone peace of mind, just in case they need to end the arrangement for any reason in the next five years.

Talking to one of our Lifestyle and Care advisers greatly helped the family when broaching this often uncomfortable and emotional topic. Our adviser explained the various considerations, helped them understand the trade-offs, and worked closely with the family to provide a roadmap to achieve the best result for their loved one.

With a specialist division of financial advisers who are accredited in aged care advice, we have a team that can talk you through the various options and explain the various financial considerations. Our team can also connect you with trusted organisations who can help guide you through the care choices that best align to your unique care situation. Learn more about our accredited aged care financial advisers.

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